For eons this illusive emotion called love has held the human race spell bound with its magical charm. The thinkers among us have long tried to find the answers to why we love the people we do, with varying degrees of success. However, the one thing that we are absolutely sure about is that it is not Cupid’s doing. Unless of course he has kept abreast of the latest medical research and decided to dip his arrows in phenyl ethylamine before shooting them.
Scientists have also done extensive research on love. They have discovered what they describe as a love map in the human brain. According to them it is these “love maps” that determine our choice of partners and also the kind of relationship we have.
The foundation for this map is laid down in early childhood, as the human brain records in great detail an individuals experiences and preferences. You will be surprised to know that the most minute (and sometimes considered insignificant) details are stored. For instance the kinds of details stored are information like hair colour, physique, gait, eye colour, personality type. We are attracted to people who fit into this mental image. It is believed that a human child has a clear idea of the kind of mate he would desire by the time he is eight years old.
Since our parents were the first loves of our lives, our relationship with them is the first influence on our love map. The mother’s relationship with her children has greater impact on the child’s love map as she spends a lot of time with them. This is especially true in the case of a male child as, his relationship with his mother will determine his ideas about and relationship with women. If the relationship is warm and friendly, the boy will grow up to be a caring and responsible partner. Instability in the mother son relationship results in a feeling of insecurity. This in turn can get manifested as a permanent fear of commitment, low self-esteem and a persistent feeling of not being appreciated enough.
Similarly, a father’s relationship with his daughter influences her general feelings about men and to some extent about herself. A loving and caring father gives his daughter the gift of unquestionable self-worth. On the other hand a cold and critical father or the absence of a father adversely impacts the self confidence of the child.
One look at the matrimonial column gives an impression that the looks of a person is of the first things that is taken into consideration when trying to find a mate (by either sexes). The science of falling in love however negates this. According to research findings intelligence and kindness play a very important role in our choices , with the latter gaining priority over the former.
When looking for a marriage partner our choices are guided by two factors- social similarities and complementary needs. For instance a very conservative person is attracted to a person with a more liberal mentality from a similar social background.
The love map also influences the physical choice of the person. Now the question may arise that if every person is equipped with this all seemingly flawless choice enabler known as the love map, the why do people have to deal with painful situations such as divorce and separation. Well, there are a couple of logical reason for this. Firstly, besides the love map our choice of mate is guided by other factors such as social and financial status. Secondly, love needs to be nurtured even when the best choices are made. The minute it is taken for granted weeds begin to grow around it. So, take care of love and watch it blossom!
Note: This is not my original piece. This nice article was available on net which I am sharing with you all.
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